The Secret to Winning her Heart. Kidnap Her

Posted on 2 September, 2010


A third of all marriages in Kyrgyzstan are kidnaps.

Some brides are kidnapped by men they know, others are kidnapped by total strangers. Most remain with their kidnapper as his new wife for the rest of their lives.

Why would a woman allow herself to be married to a man who has forcibly stolen her? A couple of different reasons.

Naturally, a woman who has been kidnapped is considered tainted. Probably not a virgin and therefore shameful and worthless. What man could lower himself to that?

Secondly, society considers it shameful for a family to take back a woman fleeing from her husband, and of course it wouldn’t do to upset society.

Finally, due to strict religious codes the opportunities for men and women to mingle are severely restricted, while the expectation to marry is strong.

Essentially: Men and women talking, meeting and learning from one another: God thinks very bad. Men kidnapping women from their homes: God thinks good!

Not every Kyrgyz person thinks this way – only a third of married women get married this way after all – so I don’t wish to demonise the whole Country. However, a nation which, having weighed up all the differing options for what ought be considered permissable, regards this as the best Society in which to live is a pitiable, appaling wreck.

And the really sad part? Kyrgyzstan is a long way from the worst Country a woman could be born into.