What to do with a Broken Heart? Mutilate your Ex!

Posted on 2 September, 2010

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Fourth rate minor celebrity and walking insult to acting Danny Dyer is arguably one of the last human beings on Earth from whom any sensible person would seek advice.

Indeedy, the only positive thing to be said about the appropriately named Dyer was that nothing he did could ever be as bad as any of the films in which he starred. If Uwe Boll had been an actor he would very likely have been Danny and any collaboration between the two could hardly be much worse than films such as Pimp and Doghouse.

Danny Dyer, however, is nothing if not multi-non-talented, and everyone’s least favourite mockney geezer has branced out into the World of advice columns.

Alex from Manchester wrote to Misogyny Weekly Zoo Magazine hoping for advice to get over the break up with his ex-girlfriend. Did Mr Dyer have some thoughtful ideas on this problem?

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, son. I’d suggest going out on a rampage with the boys, getting on the booze and smashing anything that moves. Then, when some bird falls for you, you can turn the tables and break her heart. Of course, the other option is to cut your ex’s face, and then no one will want her.”

Naturally thoughtful ideas are a bit gay and not for real men like Danny and the readers of Zoo. Maturity is just so boring so it’s definately much better to face problems with a mixture of alcohol and violence. And of course when it comes to witty putdowns there’s nothing as giggle inducing as mutilating a women! Lmao!

Well done Danny, you really are dire.

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Posted in: cRaZy TaLk